


Cards and Confessions

by FanderKeeper



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (kinda), Anxiety, Confessions, Divination, Embarrassment, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Miscommunication, Secrets, Tarot, i guess, i never write fluff idk how to tag it, it's not /that/ fluffy tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 21:15:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15324507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanderKeeper/pseuds/FanderKeeper
Summary: Virgil has a secret interest in tarot reading. Logan, ever the skeptical, must never find out.





	Cards and Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> Hell yeah my first posted sanders sides fic!
> 
> if you like rants about card reading, fluff and "understood" confessions, you sure are in the right place
> 
> no tw that i can think of except mild embarassement

At first, Virgil’s interest in tarot and card readings was simply theoretical. After all, you can only watch so many cryptid and conspiracies videos without getting at least a little interested in witchcraft, right? So he started reading on the subject, scrolling through informative blogs and different theories and interpretations.

 

He thought about trying it himself, but always found a reason not to do it. First of all, it didn’t seem like a good idea for the embodiment of anxiety to try and predict the future, right? Surely he would only increase his general level of fear, and that would affect Thomas. And the other Sides would endlessly tease him for believing in this sort of things.  _ “Look at this poor Panic! At The Everywhere trying so hard to look edgy and angsty!” _ Yup, he could hear them laughing already.

 

He couldn’t remember what made him change his mind. He just knew that one day he was holding a deck in his hand and trying to get ready for his first reading. He had read from one of the blogs he visited that one of the best to start with was too just pick a random card while picturing your question. Virgil sighed. His question felt stupid, but it was all he had.

 

“How do I fit in among the Sides?”

 

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He tried to remember that one-card-readings could only tell so much, and that no matter what the cards said, the other Sides loved him. He opened his eyes.

 

The Moon.

 

He almost cringed. Of course he had to get one, if not the most complicated tarot card existing. He tried to remember everything he had read. The Moon was a symbol of mystery and illusions. Linked with spirituality. And he could remember something to see with sadness.

 

His stomach tied in knots, he grabbed the small orange book that held the basics of card readings and turned to the page dedicated to the sixteenth card.

 

Surprisingly, it was not as dark as he remembered : “The lake at the bottom represents the comfort of a routine, that can sometimes stop the individual from moving forward… The two towers are protective, they keep the enemies of the city outside… The Moon is soaking up the energies from the Earth… It can act as a guide toward a happier place, toward the Sun…”

 

He couldn’t help but smile. Some of those things definitely rang a bell from a certain two-parts video…

 

Putting the card back in the deck, he decided that maybe getting this tarot had been a good idea. As long as it stayed a secret, he would be fine.

 

* * *

 

Of course, he had forgot that keeping a secret implied subtlety and discretion, two things he severely lacked in. How had Logan described him in the Negative Thinking video? Ah yes. Extra.

 

It had been a normal movie night for the Sides. Roman had insisted on watching an old adventure, medieval fantasy movie - Virgil couldn’t even remember the name. The whole film was pretty boring, but he politely kept his mouth shut. He tried not to roll his eyes at all the overused tropes and stereotypes, and was actually pretty proud of himself for not groaning when someone mentioned a “prophecy” about a “chosen one”. He would not ruin everyone’s fun - especially when Roman was so adorably excited about the plot.

 

But he snapped when the hero walked into a witch’s house and started talking about card readings.

 

“Oh my god, did she just call the thirteenth card Death? Did they not have the budget for a google search? This card have never represented death or misery you uneducated idiot!” he shouted.

 

He clasped his hand on his mouth when he realized his mistake.

 

“Virgil?” Logan asked. “Are you interested in tarot reading?”

 

“Well…” Virgil blushed. He looked down at his feet. “...I just read a couple of books on the subject, that’s all.”

 

“But…” Patton seemed confused. “How is the card not Death? It has a giant skeleton cutting people’s heads!” He shivered and looked away from the screen where the movie was paused on said card.

 

“Er, it’s not actually cutting people’s heads, it’s more like…” He walked to the TV and started pointing at the different parts of the card. “Okay, so the skeleton is holding a scythe, but it’s using it to collect things, like a farmer. The heads don’t exactly look panicked either. And if you look at the skeleton’s spine, you can see it looks like wheat.” He knew his explanation was unclear and unorganized, not like Logan could speak, but he hadn’t exactly had the time to prepare. “The card isn’t even actually called Death, at least not in the original tarot. It’s mostly about healing and starting over after a failure, and moving on. Like, sure, some shit happened in the past but you should focus on the future and what you can do now.”

 

After the end of his speech, there was a new stunned silence.

 

Roman finally broke the awkward tension and chuckled. “You just read a couple books, right? I think you meant that you have one huge passion for divination, Virge.”

 

Virgil blushed yet again. “Okay, well, I might or might not have an actual deck and be able to do actual readings.” He crossed his arms and turned his face away from the other Sides, trying to look unbothered.

 

“Kiddo, that’s so cool! Can you do one for me? Pleaaaase?” Patton had used his Excited Child voice, and even without looking, Virgil knew he had his puppy eyes.

 

He sighed. “I mean, sure, I can try…”

 

“Well I, for one, think this is amazing news! Our Virgil is an actual fairy tale witch! Can you make prophecies for my amazing royal destiny?”

 

“Oh my god, no.” Virgil groaned. “This isn’t a goddamn movie. I can’t tell you you’re the chosen one, or whatever. And I can’t tell you you will meet the soulmate as they will save you from a certain death.”

 

Roman looked disappointed. “But you can still do me a reading, right?”

 

“Sure,” Virgil scoffed. “Whatever you want, Princey.”

 

“Do you want one too, Logan?” Patton asked excitedly. That’s when Virgil realized that the logical side hadn’t talked ever since Virgil revealed his interest.

 

He screamed internally. Of course Logan would think it was ridiculous. There was nothing logical about turning to a bunch of cards for guidance in life. He would probably make fun of him and then recommend him a bunch of articles “debunking” tarot and other divination methods. Virgil was well and truly fucked.

 

“Well,” Logan said, visibly trying not to be mean. “I don’t personally believe in such mind tricks and make believes, since all scientific evidence points out that… I mean…” He stopped and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “But I’m glad it makes Virgil happy, and that it can serve as an entertainment for the two of you. If you find comfort in such illogical matters, then it’s for the best.”

 

Virgil tried very hard not to look too disappointed. He should have expected it, it’s not like it was obvious that Logan would be skeptical. He looked away and shrugged. “Whatever. Let’s just watch the rest of the movie.”

 

Patton and Roman almost tried to object, but a simple glare from the anxious side told them that it wasn’t a good idea. They carried on with the evening, and Virgil tried not to curl up on himself more than he naturally would.

 

* * *

 

Three days later, he still hadn’t touched his deck again, despite the constant whining of Roman who desperately wanted to know if Thomas would one day be a Broadway star. He was currently sitting on his bed, wrapped in a blanket burrito with several boxes of Oreos and watching a Sanders Sides edit on Youtube - a guilty pleasure that only Patton knew of.

 

Suddenly, he heard a soft knock on the door. He tensed without realizing it : that was Logan’s signature knock - Roman’s was much louder, and Patton would call his name instead. What did he want with him? Logan rarely visited Virgil’s bedroom, _ logically _ knowing that it would have a negative effect on him.

 

He opened the door and without saying anything, Logan stepped in.

 

“I am here to talk to you about your… card reading hobby.” He said, looking everywhere but at Virgil.

 

Virgil cringed inwardly. “Patton told you to apologize, isn’t it? You don’t have to. I knew you would think I’m stupid for doing that kind of stuff…”

 

“That,” Logan interrupted, “is a very emotionally charged statement. Even if I did find tarot ridiculous, I wouldn’t think of  _ you _ as stupid. I know you are a very smart person.”

 

Virgil blushed. He both hated and loved when Logan tried to make it reason through his own anxiety. Especially when he used compliments. Virgil never learned how to respond to those.

 

“Anyway,” Logan said. “Patton did not tell me to apologize. I’m here from my own initiative.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “You’re right to say I believe in facts first and foremost, and therefore it would make sense for me to immediately reject divination. But it would be foolish of me to dismiss it without even trying to learn about it. Being open to debate and all that.”

 

Virgil tilted his head to the side in confusion. Was Logan really planning on being open-minded on tarot, or was he just going to make fun of him?

 

“Now,” Logan continued, “I wanted to read on the matter, but then he realized having a reading made for myself first might give me a more in-deep insight and help me to understand the appeal of divination.”

 

“Wait, w-what?” Virgil stuttered. Did he hear that right?

 

Logan sighed again and sat down in front of Virgil. “I am here to ask you if you would please give me a reading.”

 

He blushed. That was impossible. Logan must have been playing a prank on him. Was Roman secretly filming the scene? But he knew all of the Sides had made an effort to lay off him for a long time already, so perhaps Logan was being honest. He tried to slow his breathing down and looked up at his friend.

 

“Okay. Okay. I can do that.” Everything was going to be fine.

 

A minute later, they were both sitting cross-legged on the floor, the deck in-between them. Logan tactfully did not comment on Virgil’s light blushing and instead chose to stare right at the cards.

 

“So. What am I to do?”

 

Virgil bit down on his lip for a second, pondering on his options. “Well, if you have a specific question, I can draw the cards for that, but I actually have an idea for a sort of reading I think you can appreciate.”

 

Logan simply nodded. “As you wish. I trust your judgement.”

 

Virgil’s blush reddened, and he had to turn his head away. He slowly started to put all of the cards face-up on the the floor, so they were all clearly visible.

 

“Okay, so I’m going to ask you to take a look at all of the cards in front of you and observe all of their details. Then, try and pick one. It can be one you find weird, or beautiful, or that you’re just curious about. Anyway, one that just make you feel something.”

 

Logan nodded again, and adjusted his glasses before to start looking around. His gaze stopped on several cards, but eventually he pointed to the Empress. Virgil arched one eyebrow. He had to admit he never felt a real connection to this card, but maybe it was time for him to explore it more.

 

He picked it up and looked at all of its details for a few seconds, trying to remember everything he knew about it.

 

“So, big surprise,” he chuckled, “this card is a symbol of wisdom and knowledge. But mainly, it’s a card of power.”

 

Logan frowned, but didn’t interrupt Vigil, who took time again to collect his thoughts.

 

“The power is quite obvious, really. She has a throne, and a crown, and everything. That makes sense for you. You always brag about how important you are.”

 

“I don’t think it is ‘bragging’ if I’m only saying the truth, really.” Logan complained.

 

The darker side smiled. “See? Anyway. Her eyes are looking to her left. In classical tarot interpretation, that represents knowledge of the future. Organization, planning, stuff like that. Again, very you.” He waited to see if Logan would comment again, but it seemed as if he was simply waiting to hear more. Virgil hoped he wasn’t bored to death, but his excitement was showing and he couldn’t stop talking. “And she has a shield. She’s not using it right now, but her hand is wrapped around it so she’s ready to take it at any moment. Even if she doesn’t like to show it, or if it’s hard to see… She’s a protector.”

 

Something changed in the atmosphere. Suddenly, Virgil could feel Logan was listening more intensely.

 

“She also represents clear-sightedness. She sees past confusion and doubts, and tell the facts. She… ‘shifts through the nonsense’, I guess…” He couldn’t look at Logan. His passion and anxiety were battling in his mind, and he had half a mind to hide under his bed. “And… Even if she might seems cold, or distant, or even a bit haughty, it’s indicative of love and good relationships. She helps others and build stronger bonds between people.” He took a long breathe. His anxiety was screaming for him to shut the fuck up and stop embarrassing himself, but for some reason he felt brave right now. “And… I won’t lie, I didn’t think much of it at first. But… it’s a very loveable card. It’s comforting, and a sign that things might be getting better. It’s… always a good card to pick.”

 

There were a few minutes of silence. Virgil squeezed his eyes shut and prayed for the earth to swallow him whole. He was about to try and dismiss all he said with sarcasm when suddenly Logan spoke up.

 

“This was… Quite an interesting reading, thank you.” Virgil felt a hand brush his own. “I enjoyed hearing it from you, despite my remaining skepticism about divination and…” He coughed. “Apologies. I… I am quite happy there is a card that makes you feel this way, and that you were able to see past the apparent coldness to see a way to appreciate it. I believe this makes you an excellent tarot reader, Virgil.”

 

Virgil could feel his cheeks burning. Logan’s hand still hadn’t moved, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying the soft touch. He desperately wanted to look at Logan in the eyes, but couldn’t gather the courage. He wondered if maybe he could try holding Logan’s hand, when…

 

“I’m sorry for crying kiddo, but this is so sweet and I can’t…” Patton grabbed the tissue Roman handed him and blew his nose. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt but…” He was cut off by another sob.

  
  


“How long have you two been listening?! You can’t spy on me!” Virgil growled, slightly panicked.

 

“Well to our defence, you usually can tell when someone opens your door, Gerard Way-Too-Much-Eyeliner.” Roman grinned with a touch of arrogance. “It’s not our fault you were too lost in your grand declaration to notice us.”

 

Virgil grabbed a pillow on his bed and threw it at the prince’s head. “You just lost your rights to my readings. Go get your divination from someone else, asshole.”

 

“Not a chance. You still need to tell me if Thomas is gonna get married to an actual prince one day.”

 

As Roman and Patton went to sit on the bed to chat happily about some hypothetical royal falling in love with Thomas despite his family’s pressure to marry rich, Logan squeezed Virgil’s hand and whispered : “I am still not convinced about tarot, but perhaps you could give me some more readings soon? For research purposes.”

 

Virgil nodded, and gave a light squeeze back. Unlike the two extrovert sides currently yelling about romance, he felt no needs for words right now.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! please leave a kudos and comment if you liked it
> 
> also... all tarot opinions are mine, and obviously arent hard facts
> 
> you can follow me on tumblr or chat with me at @cryingbecauseilovethesides !


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